sad-disease.diaryland.com

At the beginning or end of every six-week period I have to take a practical exam. This is where I randomly get assigned a task. I get ten minutes to prepare, and then I perform the task while being watched by a stern instructor who makes check marks up and down a sheet of paper. This has gone on for two years. And I never prepare. Today I had to take said exam.

Yesterday at 1:00pm I said, "When Oprah’s over, I'll review the material." Once Oprah was over, I said, "Oh, I'll just read a couple of chapters of my book." Then at 6:00pm I negotiated that after supper would be optimal. After supper I realized I would have to watch more television as CSI: Miami was on, and I have been known in some circles to have a slight crush on lead investigator Horatio Cain. Then before I knew it, it was 11:00pm. Oh fuck.

So I went up into my bedroom. I pulled out my material and began the process. An hour later I fell asleep. Seriously, I fell asleep while reading my material. It was like a scene that I imagine happening in the 80s sitcom 'Growing Pains.' Jason forces Mike Seaver up to his room to study for tomorrow’s history exam. Mike does everything but study. Finally Mike decides to get down to business only to wake up in the morning in a pool of drool and a textbook as a pillow. I finally woke up at 1:30 am. I reasoned that if I got up at 5:30am I would have two good hours before I had to leave and one hour to recite the steps to myself on car ride. But this didn’t happen. I couldn't force myself out of bed at 5:30 am. My environment was cold, yet my bed was so warm. It would have been a sin to leave that comfort.

Finally, I'm sitting outside waiting to enter the exam room. My name is called, and the mean lady hands me my assignment. I look down and groan. It is possibly the worst assignment ever. I tell my peers. They groan. They know it's the worst. They are relieved it isn't their assignment. I enter the room and tell the monitor I'm ready. I gather my materials and begin. I'm shaking and stuttering and wanting to be back in my warm bed. I finish the procedure and wait.

She finishes making her check marks on the marking guide. Then she says, "I have a few suggestions." She walks me through some improvements. Then she cleans up and prepares for her next student. She doesn't tell me anything about my grade, and I'm too scared to ask. I grab my belongings and start to leave. As I'm leaving she looks up from her papers and says, "Very systematic. Very organized." I look back and ask, "Did I pass?" She smiles and says, "You got 100%."

Yep, just like Mike Seaver – we make procrastination work.

posted 2003-12-02